misery is optional

"Old wood to burn, old books to read, old wine to drink, old friends to trust." And I will add old TV shows to inspire. Since Jim's return from Iraq, he's been catching up on episodes that aired while he was gone. USA network has graced us with hours and hours of one of his favorites, NCIS (the original). Some of them I've seen, but that's ok, I watch along with him. Early this morning, as he lay there beside me, he was watching another one. I drifted between nod and doze and didn't pay much attention until the last three minutes, when the song they played made me sit up and listen.

The episode ended, Jim pressed delete, turned off the screen, and snuggled 'neath the down to sleep, finally.

But I could not. The words were gone and the room was quiet, but the message echoed in my mind. I got up, fed kitty, brewed a pot, and hit the search bar. "All We Are" by Matt Nathanson. It was another one of those serendipity moments that crowd my life.

"It's hard to change the way you lose
If you think you've never won...
And in the end the words won't matter
In the end nothing stays the same
And in the end dreams just scatter and fall like rain
'Cause all we are we are
All we are we are
And every day's a start of something beautiful, something real."

Rather than dwell on days and nights long gone, instead of focusing on things that can never be, refusing to be a slave to past hurts, I choose life today, and the sure and certain hope of better memories to come.

True learning almost always involves pain. But misery is optional. Loss is an inevitable part of life. It's what we do afterwards that counts.