resolutions

Dear One:
Do you make New Year's Resolution? I seldom do. Not because there is nothing in my life I wish to change, for there are definitely habits I'd like to banish. And there are things I wish I had the ability to make happen. But wanting and doing are two separate things. And the wanting is sometimes less than what is necessary for the doing. I guess what it comes down to is "perspicacity."

Don't ask me the origin of that word, or an exact definition, I just remember it was one of Mom's favorites. She'd use it when she enumerated my transgressions. It came up in conversation quite a lot, for I was admittedly a willful child. She always wanted me to accomplish more, to be better, espousing the Olympic aim of higher, faster, longer, stronger. She was an “a-plus” kind of parent.

Dad was of a different mindset. He'd say "don't set yourself up for failure." Not that he meant I shouldn't try at all. He was simply realistic about life, and wanted to protect me from the pain and disillusion of non-achievement. He thought the grade of “c” was ok if you’d tried your best, and felt a “b” was perfectly acceptable. The only thing he ever demanded was the absolute truth in all things and at all times.

It was actually quite frustrating, living with two so radically divergent philosophies.

And so today I am stuck between the two. Do I want to make a resolution? Is the aim too high? Do I have the perspicacity to make it happen? Perhaps. Maybe. I don't know. Oh, fiddledeedee. I'll think about it tomorrow.

Love, Scarlett