ribbons and bows

Seeing someone open a present is infinitely gratifying, but the actual wrapping is something I dread and put off until the last minute. It's one of those two-edge sword kinda things, as painful as using an old razor but as satisfying as gingerbread fresh from the oven (thank you, John).

First there's picking out the rolls of paper, because the boxes they are shipped in do not allow you to see them, you have to pick up each one and look at it, and then put it back when it’s unacceptable, then pick up another and after fifteen rolls try to remember if you already looked at something identical.

And then there's standing in line to make the purchase. It doesn't matter if you buy in August or January, there's always a line.

Then there's trying to make that yard-long bag fit in the trunk of the car. On top of the stuff I bought at the other six stores.

Then there's getting the package open after I'm home and ready to wrap. Do not know who designs the plastic container, but it's so tough I have to use scissors. I bet it could be used as a heat shield on the space shuttle.

And then there's tape. Why in the world does it stick to everything except the thing I want it to stick to, and anywhere except where I want it to be? I even have trouble with that so-called hands-free device from 3M.

Ribbon bows? Don't go there. I have five thumbs.

And then there's the cat. I learned the hard way that using the kitchen table as a wrapping station was not a good idea, because he springs from floor to chair to table and sprawls on the paper, refusing to move. Don't even think about using the floor. And so I normally go in the guest room, shut the door, and spread things out on the bed. The entire time I'm in there KTT is batting at the door and making the most awful moaning sounds. Poor poor pitiful kitty. You'd think someone was pelting him with hot chestnuts.

So this year I cheated. The presents were swaddled in sparkly tissue paper, placed in gift bags, and then pre-made red velvet bows were tied quick as can be one two three to the handles. They’re beautiful, and I don't think anyone will mind that I didn't use wrapping paper this year.

Except KTT.

I can live with that.